Archive for December, 2009

Top Ten News Events Of The Noughties (1700’s)

December 31, 2009

O.K, I recognise the last post wasn’t thought out entirely. However, I know at least, that news did happen before 1888.

And so, the top ten news events of the decade as seen in 1710.

1. 1709 Global Warming proven a con when the Great Frost of 1709 took hold.

2. 1702 The publishing of the first daily newspaper poses a serious challenge to the word of the mouth industry.

3. 1707 The presciently named War of 27 years ends 27 years after starting.

4. 1710 Edmond Halley’s Synopsis Astronomica Cometicae voted best Fiction book of the decade.

5. 1707 Act of Union passes jeopardising the possibility of a future British Olympic football team.

6. 1704 Newton’s long awaited follow up to Principia Mathematica sells poorly despite receiving critical acclaim.

7. 1700 Russia, Denmark and Saxony attack Sweden starting the disastrous Great Northern War, which thankfully looks like it’s coming to an end.

8. 1701-present Family dispute continues to kill millions.

9. 1710 Third of Swedish population refuse plague vaccination. Third of Swedish population die.

10. 1704 End Of Japan’s Golden Age, fear of lost century.


Top 10 Films Of The Noughties (1700’s)

December 28, 2009

Obviously there are a lot of top ten of the decades lists popping up, and because I am adverse to competition, I’m going back 300 years to the start of the 18th century instead.

So to kick us off, the top 10 films of the decade.











Pending approval

December 28, 2009

If I could get one idea peer reviewed, it would probably be ‘What percentage of chewing gum sales are due to someone wanting change?’ All I need now is a couple of referees.

Dame Clive Owen

December 19, 2009

If there is one example of Coventry’s (where I was born) mediocrity, its that it’s pantomime celebrities were made celebrities by appearing in pantomime.

Is dark matter what keeps the Rolling Stones together?

December 17, 2009

I actually photographed dark matter once in my garden, but I forgot to put the flash on, so I’m quite pissed of that these guys are going to get all the credit and women.

Is Robert Duvall the only person whos looks like he’s been aged by one of those computer ageing software programs that predict how you will look in 30 years time?

December 17, 2009

How you doin?

December 17, 2009

I’ve been wondering recently what does this blog need to spice it up a little. Maybe a new background colour I thought, or a different font, something in the Ariel category perhaps. Then it hit me, I didn’t need to make drastic changes like that and compromise my art. I’ll have a blog catchphrase.

So after screwing up loads of pieces of paper and throwing them in and around the bin, I can now announce my new blog catchphrase.

“You forgot to bloody cook the thing !”

Type 2

December 1, 2009

When I was about 10, my Nan used to take me round all the rough areas of the city and tell me that if I didn’t work hard enough at school, this is where I would end up.

She recently got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes.

So now I take her round the graveyard and inform her that if she don’t lose some weight pretty sharpish, this is where she’ll end up.